the fung wah marketing machine

09Oct07

To go between New York and Boston, there are four main forms of transportation: car, bus, train or plane. Lacking a car, I’m not eligible for option #1. And, as a broke student, options #3 and 4 quickly drop off.

So, once you’ve decided realized that riding the bus is your only option, you have three popular carriers to choose from, all costing $15. Greyhound runs every so often while Fung Wah and Lucky Star, both chinese operated, run every hour and sometimes every half hour if they can convince an already tired driver to make yet another trip. Which one you choose, depends on how much you value your life, how much you value your time and, most importantly, how resilient you are to their brilliant marketing techniques.

Now, it’s only fair to say that I have absolutely no marketing training, so take this with a pound of salt to be safe.

Today, I was standing in South Station waiting for Daphne to arrive on the 12pm Lucky Star. The trip takes 4-5 hours so her arrival time coincided with Friday afternoon rush hour. But this wasn’t any Friday, it so happenned to be the Friday before the Columbus Day long weekend. So, South Station was a madhouse! A perfect opportunity to watch the master illusionists at work. Abracadabra! *poof*

Fung Wah and Lucky Star’s ticket booths live shoulder to shoulder. No one has a territorial advantage over the other and the territory they fight over happens to be the furthest bay. No problem for Fung Wah though, the exponential decay of sound waves is no match for the Chinese Auntie’s vocal cords. Powered by Bok Choy and Salted Fish, her vocal cords are well trained in the art of chinese ordering and bus marketing assault.

At 4:45, 15 minutes before the next departure, the Fung Wah Aunties, dressed in anxiety red, are already shouting and motioning to potential passengers as they naively approach the booths from 200 meters 600 feet away. I witnessed many unsuspecting folks fall victim to this ruthless marketing campaign through a simple and brief eye contact. From as far away as 40 feet, this innocent act of seeking out the source of the noise makes you an instant target. Seeing this act of weakness, Fung Wah’s 4′ 11″ hired-muscle begin climbing over the desks to shove $5 bills at you. Once it’s in your hand, you feel compelled to return with the $20 in your back pocket. Sold! Suckered! Briliant.

In some cases, the anxious, stressful, motherly motioning actually instills a belief that the Fung Wah might actually leave early for the first time in Chinese history. Rationally, we know that chinese rubber time works in the opposite direction and so this would never be the case. That being said, if the objective of marketing is to convince perfectly rational people to make irrational decisions, these women would make a perfect case study.

But, you have to be able to spot “The Believers” in case demand exceeds supply. Fortunately, they’re easy identify as they’d probably give Ben Johnson a run for his money. So, if you see one, sheep-up and tag along!

Alas, should they actually get the last ticket, you’re SOL. Fung Wah doesn’t do urine tests.

Filed under: Boston, New York, Random   |  Leave a Comment
Tags: Aunties, bus, Chinese, Fung Wah, Greyhound, Lucky Star, marketing, New York, NYC